Gasolina's Tank

Believe. Persist. Achieve.

2010-09-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

I'm getting stronger. I can feel it. I have an ass. And it feels great. Not my ass, getting fit, I mean. Although maybe my ass feels great too. You'll have to ask it yourself.

Cycling to work every day is amazing. The ducks along the canal, the cool, crisp air pumping into my lungs. I get to work feeling like a million bucks: smarter, leaner, faster. The question is, how to keep up the momentum?

I am (almost) a reformed gymophobe. My one-time blog "HELP, My Building Has a Gym", was a response to my Physiotherapists question about what kind of equipment was in the gym at work. It was my humorous way of letting her know there was more to it than just the back problem. She laughed along at the joke, and shared the blog with other people in the field - and took me to the gym, bless her heart.

But then, I couldn't do it. The gym was full of all those gymy people. Them. Not US. Until I met Alison. Her infectious enthusiasm, warmth, caring, and just plain common sense, got me into sneakers and into the gym. She showed me that I could exercise INDOORS. I had an epiphany. I could do this.

Then I met Marshall, with his gentle kind face and bulging biceps. I met him when I went over to help out with a painting party at the gym he was opening here in my community. I talked about beauty and painting, and how I thought that I could get to some answers by painting about it - and he talked to me about GYM. And somehow, after a few weeks of thinking about it, I could email him. He's going to work with me.

So what I've started with my bike to work, and a few classes at the work gym, will continue ... and I will heal my back and discover the meaning of beauty all at once.

Thanks Heather, and Alison, and Marshall. Thanks Dr. Kingwell, the surgeon who read me the riot act. Thank you to Lyrica and Celebrex for giving me a leg up so that I could start getting fit without mind bending pain.

Beleive. Persist. Achieve. It's Marshall's mantra. I'll try it out. I'll believe. I can do this. I've been fit before, and I can do it again. Persist. I can keep up the momentum, and keep feeding on the feel-goodness of it all. Less pain is a good thing, right? Achieve. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

The Bachelor

2010-03-12T12:44:00.000-08:00

Quick. Somebody. Get me a barfbag.

2009 Drivel Awards - last day for submissions

2010-02-01T10:51:00.001-08:00

OK actually yesterday was the last day for submissions.

That being said, the selection committee understands that Drivel Induced
Coma (DIC) is indeed one of the hazards of entering the contest, and
thus, accepts that you may have been (as one of the contestants found
when he woke up on the floor this morning after several hours in an
inexplicable coma) unable to press the send button on your submission
for several hours thereby delaying your submission.

The Drivel Awards selection committee employs the liberal use of
caffeine and chocolate in the attempt to mitigate some of the effects of
(DIC), and these are not considered performance enhancing drugs, but
simply necessary measures given the circumstances.

We wish you luck in your submission, and thank you for the neurological
risks you have taken to make this competition possible.

Selina Gasolina
2009 Drivel Awards Coordinator

Mom is on strike

2010-01-14T10:05:00.001-08:00

List of Demands:

No litter in the house.
No clothing or other debris on the floor.
Dirty dishes go in the dishwasher.
No outdoor clothing strewn on the furniture.
No using the dining table as a dump.
When the garbage is full, take it out.
When asked, do the task.
Put the laptop back and plug it in.

Until all demands are met:

No cleaning, cooking or laundry services.
No taxi services.
No shopping services.
No, just plain no.

2009 Drivel Awards

2010-01-05T06:25:00.000-08:00

Fellow Drivelites:

As 2009 comes to an end, so does another year of Drivel. As usual, we
are looking for the best of the worst, and our good friend Keane will (I
hope) provide his usual brilliant translation.

So, please send me your best (worst)! Employ your co-creative essence
and fully engage in a movement that is elementally productionising a
unification of driviality!

I don't look forward to reading your submissions at all, but, "no pain,
no gain" as they say. Deadline for submissions is January 30, 2010.

Selina Gasolina (Selina@rogers.com)
2009 Drivel Award Coordinator

For Newbs - the Drivel Awards is a long-standing joke amongst the jolly
"PSI <http://www.psi-spi.com/> " gang, clearly comprised of people with
too much time on their hands. It began when Hubert and I did a contract
for CIDA, and I started gathering examples of painful prose. Hence,
this became an annual game.

The 2008 Drivel Award Winner was the "Lightworker Spiritual Network" for
this long and completely meaningless tripe:

When we connect together in a unified thought we express our collective
co-creative essence and allow the process of ascension to unfold for all
life. As a Lightworker we simply mean a person who is co-creating a
peaceful and loving world, and there are a many of us!. We know you will
feel at home here and understand that you are a part of a world wide
movement that is co-creating an alternative way of life for humanity and
our loving world that we share. Lightworkers, we honor you. For we are
ONE!

Keane's translation:

"We think we can change the world just by thinking about it real hard,
spouting confused serial synonyms for "unity", and sucking you into our
resulting mental vacuum. Lightworkers is a noun so totally plastic, we
hesitate to call it proper. It means whatever we want it to at the
moment. Which is nice, because we think being unclear about basic
grammatical constructions makes us sound cosmic. We're uncritical
thinkers seeking airheads... if you want to be One, come on down! You'll
love us, we'll love you - and other deep, Barney the Dinosaur-ish
sentiments. "

2008 Runner Up was from the Pseudoscience category from "DNA
Perfection":

But one does not have to wait for science to catch up with a rapidly
evolving humanity in order to begin advancing the functions of their
DNA. Through the processes of bioregenesis, we are removing ancient
blockages within the human anatomy that have been blocking natural DNA
activation, and then we are restoring the Original Organic Imprint for
Health, that is the birthright of our species. We are progressively
reordering portions of the "junk DNA" and stimulating portions of the
DNA into activation.

As translated by Dolores:

If you drive around on Garbage Day, perhaps you can scavange
unstimulated junk DNA. Surely, there are a few airheads of your
acquaintance for whom you would like to assemble brains.

Previous years' winners have been NGOs, Government Agencies, and
Corporations.

With friends like this...

2009-07-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

Last night, one of my best friends and I were sitting in my living room
and
I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on
some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug."

She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

Double your size?

2009-06-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

I got this email telling me I could double my size in just two weeks.
That would make me 11 feet 4 inches. I think my boyfriend wouldn't like
that.

Debt Clock

2009-06-11T11:55:00.001-07:00

Check out this handy item from the Canadian Taxpayers Association that
shows our daily mounting debt. Our legacy will be to expect our kids to
pay for services they never asked for. In two years, the Harper
government will wipe out the debt repayment of the previous 8 years.
Scary movies kiddies.

www.debtclock.ca

James von Brunn - he denied the holocaust, we can't deny the hate

2009-06-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

It's easy to forget that hate is real. That people like James von Brunn
can deny the horrible things that were done to Jews and others during
WWII. His shooting at the Holocaust Museum this week reminds us that
there is still much to be done to make sure that toxic ideas are not
spread in our communities, nor to our children. Reading this brought
tears to my eyes. It is a glimpse into a troubled and bitter soul that
you will not forget soon.

http://www.arsenalofhypocrisy.com/blog/?p=463

We mustn't deny that this kind of hate is alive and working it's caustic
effect on the minds of naive, misguided people. We must be vigilant to
educate our children about the holocaust, and other dark times in human
history, so that they can make informed, clear decisions about their own
principles and values. The hatemongers would teach them what to think;
we must teach them how to think for themselves. If we can learn from our
history, then the victims of genicide will not have died in vane.

Tori's Law

2009-05-26T12:16:00.001-07:00

You may wish to sign the following petition for Tori's Law, which will
change the criteria that the police use to issue an Amber Alert. As you
may know, an Amber Alert was never issued when Tori Stafford went
missing, because the case did not meet the current criteria.

http://www.petitiononline.com/vict888/petition.html

GM Closing dealerships

2009-05-22T13:16:00.001-07:00

Boohoo. As if I care. As if anyone cares.

Let's face it. We ALL hate car salesmen. We hate the stupid cat and
mouse game we have to play at the dealership in order to buy a car. We
hate that some people pay more than other people. We hate having to
call up Uncle Earnest, former linebacker turned teamster, to go and hold
our hand while we try not to get hosed by some slimeball in a suit. We
just want to buy a car.

You can go on line and pick the features and all the things you want,
and you get a price at the end. But if you want to test drive the car,
or ask any questions about it, you're back at the showroom, dealing with
some idiot who listens to motivational tapes on his way to work every
day, and whose socially vacuous, morally bankrupt, greed driven little
brain is now suddenly what's standing between you and the car you want
to buy. This is their marketing plan? Please. No wonder it's tough to
sell a new car these days.

The only reedeeming feature of the dealership is the service department.
Maybe. That's it.

So, why can't I just go to a place that has some cars that I can try,
then go online and pick the colour and the radio and stuff. Then go to
the Service centre to pick it up and do the paperwork. Then go back to
the service centre to get it serviced. No "dealers". No "salesmen".
No dickering the price like you're buying a trinket at a fleamarket. A
slimeball free experience. One price for everyone.

Open service centres dedicated to actual service. "Good Afternoon,
M'am". Which car would you like to try? Our price calculator is
available here at www..... Do you have any questions? You're here to
pick up your car? Sign here. Here are your keys to your new car!

GM: if you want my business, close ALL the dealerships. Fire ALL the
salesmen.

Don't forget the rules!

2009-05-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

Thank you, oh great and considerate next door neighbor, for always doing
what is right. We can count on you to do the right thing, 24/7.
Because that's what you do best.

Take this morning for example. Since the drain from my upstairs
plumbing was blocked hopelessly, and I couldn't seem to unblock it with
chemical warfare, plunging or snaking, I needed the cheerful help of the
experts. Darren Binns from Regional Drain Service sent a nice guy over
to deal with my problem. Since I was exhausted from staying up late
cleaning up the poo-poo water that had poured from the toilet, flooding
the bathroom and hallway upstairs while my daughter showered, raining
poo-poo water into my basement, I forgot the rules of the road. Silly
me. When the plumbing guy parked his van with the bumper a few inches
over the line, not blocking the SHARED LANEWAY from use or anything, but
breaking the rule about how close you can park to a driveway, I didn't
notice. Since this was really the only spot near my house, and the
plumber had some heavy tools to carry in, he can be forgiven for not
following the rules exactly. After all, his priority is the plumbing.

Luckily, the neighbor was on it right away, and phoned the by-law
department to deal with this important infringement. What if a Hydro
crew had needed to get an oversized crane between the houses to replace
a pole or something, and the plumbers van was parked too close to the
driveway's edge? I'm so glad she noticed this while she was on her way
to catch the bus to work. She wasn't even inconvenienced herself in any
way, and yet had the good sense to make sure that the rules were
followed to the letter. Such a responsible neighbor.

When the by-law officer arrived, it only took a few minutes to convince
him that issuing a ticket would be taking it too far, and another
neighbor offered to let the plumber park in his laneway, since he could
just knock on my door if he needed to get his car out.

It's so important that we all follow the rules to the letter all the
time. So if your neighbors are greiving a death in the family, having a
crisis with the house, or are ill, and forget an important by-law, like
keeping the cat's registration tag up to date, parking within 8 inches
from the curb, or removing noxious weeds from the property, we should
all remember that a quick call to by-law will make sure that those
important rules are never overlooked.

Meaningless Drivel Award 2008

2009-04-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

OK, I know this is late coming. So much drivel, so little time. You
know.

After thoughtful review, I decided I'd picked on Government and NGO's
long enough. It's time to target New Age Drivel. So....

The winner of the 2008 Meaningless Drivel Award goes to
(((((((((((((((((drum roll)))))))))))))))))))

The Lightworker Spiritual Network for this long and completely
meaningless paragraph:

When we unite our focused intent and higher emotions we can together
become a powerful catalyst for elevating the collective consciousness of
our world. We unite Lightworkers from all around the world and become
one in mind, heart and spirit. Lightworkers is a platform where
Lightworkers can connect in an environment that is tolerant and loving.
When we connect together in a unified thought we express our collective
co-creative essence and allow the process of ascension to unfold for all
life. As a Lightworker we simply mean a person who is co-creating a
peaceful and loving world, and there are a many of us!. We know you will
feel at home here and understand that you are a part of a world wide
movement that is co-creating an alternative way of life for humanity and
our loving world that we share. Lightworkers, we honor you. For we are
ONE!
One what, you might ask? No one knows. Don't ask.

Chia Obama

2009-02-05T12:48:00.001-08:00

I'm not even kidding. Buy it here.

www.chia.com

Waiting for GodOCTranspo

2009-02-05T11:04:00.001-08:00

VLADIMIR:
There's no good harking back on that. Come on.
He draws him after him. As before.
ESTRAGON:
Wait!
VLADIMIR:
I'm cold!
ESTRAGON:
Wait! (He moves away from Vladimir.) I sometimes wonder if we
wouldn't have been better off alone, each one for himself. (He crosses
the stage and sits down on the mound.) We weren't made for the same
road.
VLADIMIR:
(without anger). It's not certain.
ESTRAGON:
No, nothing is certain.
Vladimir slowly crosses the stage and sits down beside Estragon.
#
VLADIMIR:
We can still part, if you think it would be better.
ESTRAGON:
It's not worthwhile now.
Silence.
VLADIMIR:
No, it's not worthwhile now.
Silence.
ESTRAGON:
Well, shall we go?
VLADIMIR:
Yes, let's go.
They do not move.

Curtain.

Go Wendy - you speak for me

2008-10-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20
years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the
LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go
horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of
running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite
feature has to be your revoluti onary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the
only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads
be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month

knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?
I'm guessing you
haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type,
I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.
Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be
transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly
with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt
seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'.
Therefore, you must know
about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our
intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You
surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me

to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of
cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my
uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the
adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling,
laughing
happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything
mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak , there will never be
anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on
Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't
march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a
moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

October 17, World Day to Overcome Extreme Poverty

2008-10-17T13:47:00.001-07:00

http://www.oct17.org/tem.php?id_rubrique=343&id_secteur_virtuel=210&lang
=en&annee=2008#creer

If we all choose a simple life of the good things: family, music,
gardening, neighbors, laughter, healthy local food, fresh air and
sunshine - those choices will lead to a better life for our neighbors to
the south. Vote with your wallet and your two feet. Vote to live well
so others can too.

Open Stage - Carleton Tavern

2008-10-01T06:07:00.001-07:00

Dean Verger (Rasputin's) is resurrecting the Open Stage at the Carleton
Tavern.

Carleton Tavern
Fourth Thursday of every month
7 pm - Starting October 23.
Yay!

and for Texas tykes there's...

2008-09-24T09:39:00.001-07:00

Bullet Proof Baby Stroller!?!

Hard to believe this one
<http://www.bulletproofbaby.net/product_page_stoller.html> is for real.

"My baby survived a freak hunting accident last fall
thanks to this amazing bullet proof stroller.. We all feared the worst
but my darling Trevor was unharmed. Highly recommended!"

Stacey Weaver, Texas

Gee, Stacey - maybe babies and guns don't mix? Or is Texas so gun crazy
on the right to arm bears that it extends to Trevor's Teddies?

I was thinking maybe the neighbour's toddler would like to join us out
in the bush this fall to help bag a deer for the freezer. So much for
that plan; the bullet proof stroller is SOLD OUT.

Avast ye maties!

2008-09-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

AAArrrrr maties. Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

Get in touch with your inner bucaneer, and get ye some bootie.

Sex Causes Economic Growth

2008-08-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

Oh, yes. we all knew it, but this here guy did the homework and it's actually true. Once again, trust your gut.
http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2008/08/sex-causes-economic-growth.html

Sulphites

2008-07-21T13:42:00.001-07:00

Here is my standard answer to newbies with Sulphite allergy....

Here are some very helpful links that you can check out for sulphite
allergy information.

http://www.sulphite.ca/index.html

http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/securit/allerg/fa-aa/allergen_sulphites-sul
fites-eng.php

http://allergies.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/sulfites.htm

My rule of thumb is "eat simple or make it yourself". If it has a list
of ingredients, one of the sub-ingedients (which they DON'T have to
list) is probably a sulphiting agent.

Exeptions:

Beer from Big Rock or Wellington, or Labatts Blue.
Annie's salad dressings.
Bagel Ottawa or Kettleman bagels only (see the small bakery rule).
President's choice tortillas.

Other handy things I've learned that they don't tell you in the
handouts:

* Produce that has travelled a long way has been field sprayed
before packing with sulphites so that it gets here looking fresh. Eat
stuff from here as much as possible.
* Cheap frozen seafood has sulphites. Always.
* Anything with the ingredient "spices" is downright evil.
* Food from China lies about what's in there. Please tell me
you're not surprised.
* Food from Japan never has sulphites - it's not legal to use them
there.
* In store bakeries at supermarkets get the dough in buckets. It
all has sulphites. It's not listed.
* Small bakeries don't store buckets of dough for weeks at a time,
and they don't use sulphites. Small is beautiful. The bread is better
anyway.
* Don't believe people in call centres when you call the 800
number and they tell you everything is listed. They don't know what's
in there either.
* Spice "mixes" are evil. Just buy the basic dried leaves and
crap and make your own (but not the bottles in the supermarkets with the
grey-green lids).
* Anything that has been dehydrated that is a little shriveled up
version of some fruit or vegetable is evil. Doubley so if it's been
powdered.
* A single spoonful of Sherrif Mashed Potato mix has more
sulphites than any other single item in the world (I know that, NOW).
* Processed meats are evil - especially ham.
* Choose chocolate bars that don't have caramel. Ditto for ice
cream. Rolo is the enemy.
* Don't even think about McDonalds. There is nothing in there you
can eat, including the bread. Enjoy your milk. Would you like some
milk with that?
* No Oreo cookies. I'm sorry. Ditto for all packaged factory
cookies.
* Miss Vicky's chips are Ok, and so are the PC Taco chips... Lays
are sort of Ok...but plain only. Pringles, Doritos, Tostidos are not.
Weird orange cheezies? Really, what do you think?
* No Cola. It has caramel. It's weird anyway, and you already
knew that.
* Nothing with corn syrup. It's in more things than you think.

The good thing is that real food is tastier and better for you anyway.
Food with preservatives is old food that somebody made in a factory
weeks ago, and then charged you too much for, or something that some
landless peasant picked on a megafarm mowed into his ancestral
rainforest, which then sat in a truck for two weeks. What's to miss
about that?

Most stuff, like say salad dressing or cookies, has three ingredients,
takes little time to make, and tastes way better when it's made out of
real food.

See the attached email to my MP on the issue of labelling. This is
STILL true.

<<sulphite labelling>>
Take care,

Selina

What the heck are French Nails?

2008-04-23T11:59:00.001-07:00

Anything like French Kissing, or French Fries? Do they deep fry your hands and then give you nails that taste good to encourage you to neck with your own hands? Is that why models always do that idiotic finger-sucking thing?

and to wear in my terrorist proof cubicle

2008-04-08T09:27:00.001-07:00

A bullet-proof hoodie!
BBC NEWS | England | London | Bullet-proof hoodie to go on sale <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7329892.stm>
No seriously. A little paranoid are we?

Happy New Year!

2008-02-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

Today marks the beginning of the year of the Rat. I'm a rat, and so this, according to the superstition, will be a year of industriousness and great gains.

In China, it's not happy festivities for everyone. In Hunan and Jiuxuan provinces, many are trapped, without power or supplies. It is very much like our ice storm several years ago.

http://english.people.com.cn/90001/90776/90882/6351556.html

Good luck to all!

new cubical "prevents blunt trauma"

2008-01-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

But does it prevent the trauma caused to us by the blunt? That's another story.<p>

From an article on a "terrorist proof" Cubicle: <p>

In a series of tests, Dr. Gerrard detonated explosives 30 metres from a blast-hardened desk - while rubber dummies sat primly in office chairs. The desk sustained a few scratches. A second blast test, this time detonated at a 20-metre range, caused the desk's drawers to open and one hinge to break, but the Gunnar desk otherwise remained intact.
A regular desk subjected to the same tests, according to the DRDC's report, was "reduced to pieces of shards." Besides conducting the blast tests at Suffield, Gunnar also hired Calgary firefighters to drop slabs of cement and a large cube van on the desks. Each time, the desks ended up with enough room underneath for a person to survive.
One of the keys to his desk's supremacy, Mr. Quigley says, is that the surface is fastened to the floor to stop it from shifting or hurting someone. The Gunnar website lists 14 reasons why the company's office furniture is effective in disasters, including rounded corners to prevent blunt trauma, a survival kit with emergency supplies, and a fire-resistant surface that minimizes fragmentation. Mr. Quigley said the units could also be helpful in the case of an earthquake or hurricane. <p>

http://www.gunnar.ca/pofspage.htm

I want one.

now this should save on the budget..

2008-01-15T12:59:00.001-08:00

I don't have to drink any more. This guy is drinking for the both of us.

www.drinkingfortwo.net

avoir du gout pour une vie saine

2008-01-14T13:49:00.001-08:00

I'm going to join the ranks of Canadian Anglophones who can carry on a conversation in French, a small but proud group comprising about 7.1% of the Anglos outside Quebec. I must do this. If I want a good public service job in Ottawa, and most of the good jobs are with the public service around here, I better be bilingual. I've tried before. I moved to Trois-Rivier for a whole summer and sweated in a restaurant kitchen so that I can now name items from all the food groups, and say rude things. It's a start. There is a strange demographic around my workplace. If you're not francophone, then you must be from Montreal. Hmm.... No, I'm from that other part of Canada, where French is the language of cereal boxes. There was a Belgian girl I knew in grade 7 who could speak French. The French teacher was Italian. They would speak in English about the differences between French and Italian, because I don't think the French teacher could speak French. By the end of two years of French instruction I could chant verbs, a skill that I have not lost. Je suis, tu est, elle est, nous avon, vous avez... This has never come in handy in the real world. That being said, the opportunity to become bilingual has never been better. There are actually people around here who know what French supposed to sound like. I'm hearing it all the time, and it's making sense. I'm thinking outside the cereal box.

In Praise of Darkness

2008-01-11T10:12:00.001-08:00

According to the CBC, engineers somewhere are pondering the great question of how to "electrify the dark continent". Look up, says the author, and praise the beautiful wires that bring you the light, the microwave, the idiot box.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/goinggreen/africa.html
Heaven forbid, the people of Africa should look up and see the Heavens. Blot out those stars.
I think that instead of figuring out how to Light Up the Dark Continent" we should be looking at how the heck to Darkify the Luminescent Continents.
Here's what the earth looks like at night:
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0011/earthlights2_dmsp_big.jpg
IS IT BRIGHT ENOUGH FOR YA?
World population without electricity: 1.7 billion
Africa's proportion: one-third
Per capita electricity consumption Africa (2004): 494.9 kWh
Per capita Canada (2004): 15,744 kWh
Now, I'm not suggesting that all the poor people sit around in the dark all the time with no laptops or anything to occupy their evenings. I'm just suggesting that maybe we don't need to go whole hog and turn the world into energy pigs. Remember the hydro crisis a few summers ago? The lights were out on the entire eastern part of North America for a whole night. It proved that we don't need every friggin light on to prevent us all from turning into a bunch of murderous looters. Did you know that the Canadian Environmental Assessment Agency and Environment Canada Buildings have a big blazing light party on every night? Why?
I'm just saying that maybe we could tone it down a little. Darkify a bit. Look up at the sky.
U.N. Recognizes 2009 as International Year of Astronomy. Maybe for 2009 we could all try to be a little more like Africa. What's wrong with being a dark continent?

Got more money from the Pirates!

2007-10-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

I've got a raise. When the agency called to "congratulate" me on the extension of my contract, they caught me at a bad time. I was suffering from the effects of PMS (Pass My Shotgun), low-bloodsugar, sleep deprivation, the beginnings of a cold, a sore back, and an annoying co-worker who was hovering around my cubicle being a depressing, self-absorbed, whiney bigot with the intelligence of a stick. Not a good time for the wage pirates to call and "congratulate" me for my ability to continue funding their blood-sucking weasel business.

I asked, through clenched teeth, if there would be a raise in my pay this time around. When the inevitable "no" answer came (amidst some of the usual weasel words), I shouted "THAT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS". I then launched into a tirade that lasted about 5 minutes, included quotes from the Federal Labour Standards Review Board, who call the agencies the "pirates of the Canadian labour market, the President of the Public Service Union, and a few juicy snippets of my own highlighting my view of them as the vultures of the employment world, circling over the laid off workers of this country: taking advantage of their desperation to get a foot in the door of potential employers with their poverty wages, lack of benefits, holidays, or sick leave, and general moral decrepitude. There was also some stuff in there about medieval attitudes. She would have to speak to her manager, she said.

About two hours later, I got an email back saying I would get a $5.00/hour raise. Cool. Who'd have thought I could harness my BITCH (Be In Total Control Honey) powers for good? Live and learn.

Integral Coaching

2007-10-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

Times of transition are exciting but difficult, and it's great if you have a companion along for the ride who can push you up the hills or pull you over the bumps. On that note, I met with my coach this week. Her name is Monique, and she's smart and funny and is interested in working with me. I got her through Integral Coaching, and she's in training to be a coach. We just spent the time yesterday getting to know each other a bit, and trying to nail down what it is I'm going to work on. We decided on "unraveling the spaghetti" as an initial theme.

Talking to her, I realized that I'm still bitter about the Carleton experience. I loved my job, and the students, and invested a lot of my creativity, intellect and energy into being the best I could be at teaching English and all that went with it. I thought I had found my calling, and that I would be like the women I worked with who had some rough times but who had stuck with it until they had enough seniority to say that they had a place, a purpose and a pension. If it had come in one fell blow, then it would have been over all at once. Done. Instead it was a plane that ran out of gas still coasting along the runway. It's hard to stay positive. And I still haven't found a new direction. And I'm frightened to commit again. 7 years of education and work came to nothing. That being said, it was a great experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world. So there you go.

Wish me luck

2007-10-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

I have a job interview on Thursday that I'm really looking forward to. It's for N-Able Technology. It would be an exciting opportunity to work with entrepreneurs in small and medium businesses, in a support and training capacity. I can see this... could be what I need to shake me up.

2007-09-28T08:53:00.000-07:00

Free Hugs

2007-09-16T18:03:00.000-07:00

I have just signed on the The Free Hugs campaign. My daughter told me about this. It is a beacon of hope for our ailing times. check it out www.freehugscampaign.org